As I was working on my article about emotions, I started reflecting on what effectiveness truly means to me. We often hear about effectiveness in the context of work, time management, and productivity. Being organized, achieving results, optimizing, performing. But there’s something about all of this that sounds dry, mechanical, lifeless.
In English, there are two words for Ukrainian “effective”: effective and efficient.
You calmed the child — you were effective (you achieved the desired result).
You cleaned quickly and without exhaustion — you were efficient (you achieved the result with minimal time, effort, or resources).
What does it mean to be effective?
Effectiveness in a holistic sense is not just a checklist of tasks marked “done,” but the ability to listen to oneself, act consciously, and achieve what truly matters to you — while also taking care not to burn out along the way.
An effective person knows what is genuinely important to them, understands the why behind their actions, is capable of seeing things through, and gets results that truly matter. It’s not about being busy — it’s about meaning. It also means choosing the best way to reach a goal, not wasting energy on the unnecessary, organizing the process in a way that prevents burnout, and using one’s resources — time, energy, attention — wisely. This is about how we act.
15 Ways to Be Both Effective and Efficient
(With inspiration from Sheri Van Dijk’s Calming the Emotional Storm)
I often tell the people I work with that if I could remove one word from our vocabulary, it would be the word “motivation.” For some reason, many of us seem to believe that we have to feel a drive or desire to so something before we can do it; if we don’t feel like doing it, then we can’t. But think about this for a moment: when was the last time you really felt like doing the housework? How many times in a week you do not feel like making dinner or doing the dishes, and yet you do these things anyway? It seems that we make ourselves do things that we know we dislike doing, even if we don’t feel like doing them at the time. But for some reason we don’t apply this same rule to the things that we do enjoy. Instead we think that, because we enjoy these activities, we should want to do them, so if we don’t feel like doing these things, we don’t do them. (…) You often won’t feel like doing an activity until after you’ve started doing it.
— Sheri Van Dijk, Calming the Emotional Storm
1. Tuning in to yourself — What do I genuinely want, feel, and need?
Each of us has an inner compass. Listening to yourself means sensing your needs, your energy, your “no’s” and “yes’s.” It means allowing your body to say it’s tired. Letting your emotions signal when something’s off. And trusting your intuition as it whispers truths your mind hasn’t yet put into words. This is the foundation of wise decisions.
2. Clear goals — defining what success means for me personally
Success is personal for each of us. To understand what it means for us, we need to ask ourselves: what do I want to achieve in order to feel satisfied, calm, and joyful?
Success doesn’t necessarily mean reaching a big goal; sometimes it’s simply walking your own path and moving towards what feels right for you. Setting clear goals is important, but success is not always measured by the outcome alone. Sometimes, during the pursuit of a goal, we realize that we need to adjust the path or approaches, and that too is part of success — the ability to adapt to circumstances and learn from experience.
3. Live in harmony with your values
Living effectively means living in harmony with what you believe, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when no one is watching, or when everyone is watching. Ask yourself: What is truly important to me? What kind of person do I want to be?
4. Priorities — not everything important needs to be done right away
“What can I do now, and what can wait?” Priorities help focus on what matters most, without spreading attention too thinly and conserving energy.
I’ve noticed something I call “thematic days,” when priorities naturally emerge. Every day, I ask myself: what can I do today? what do I feel like? Often, it turns out that today I need to devote more or all of my attention to cleaning, my child, a book, an article, planning, reflection, socializing, or learning. On some days, several things balance well, while other days are entirely dedicated to one thing. So, I try to prioritize activities that resonate with me and align with my energy right now, on the days when I have the luxury of choosing what to focus on.
5. Planning with flexibility — structure without rigidity
Life rarely follows the script. And effectiveness is not about control. It’s about the ability to adapt. True strength lies in flexibility. In the ability to say, “This didn’t go as planned. What now?” Effectiveness begins with this shift, with the inner permission to try again.
6. Emotional intelligence: to feel, not to drown
Emotions are not the enemies of efficiency. But uncontrolled emotions can destroy the best intentions. Anger, fear, sadness, joy, shame — these are all signals that point to boundaries, needs, and desires.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to feel fully, yet not lose control. To react, not explode. To be able to stay with your discomfort — without turning it into drama or escaping into destructive things.
7. Energy preservation — not wasting strength on toxic thoughts or unnecessary things
Toxic thoughts, worries, or negative emotions drain a lot of energy that could be used for something beneficial. It’s important to learn how to recognize when we are spending emotional resources on situations or thoughts that don’t serve us. This could be excessive self-criticism, fear of the future, or dwelling on past mistakes. Letting go of what doesn’t help us move forward is a skill. First, we need to see it, hear it, accept it, and then wave goodbye.
Being busy doesn’t mean being effective. Sometimes chronic busyness is an escape from oneself. It’s better to do less—but with complete presence.
8. Emotional self-regulation — acting not on impulse, but with understanding
Self-regulation is the ability to control one’s emotions and respond to situations thoughtfully, rather than impulsively. When we act on impulse, we risk making decisions we may later regret. Instead of allowing emotions to dictate behavior, it is important to learn to pause, analyze the situation, and act in alignment with our values and goals.
9. Rejecting perfectionism — better to do something “good enough” than to not do it at all
Perfectionism often leads to procrastination or fear of failure. It’s better to do something than to do nothing. It’s better to do something imperfectly than to perfect it endlessly. Sometimes, “good enough” is exactly what’s needed to move forward.
10. The habit of taking pauses — breathe, stop, listen to yourself
In constant movement and busyness, we often forget the importance of pauses. A pause is a moment for recovery, to listen to our emotions and needs, and to check if we’re moving in the right direction. The habit of taking pauses helps maintain calm, reduce stress, and increase effectiveness.
11. Rational tools — delegation, to-do lists, time management
Delegation allows you to focus on important tasks by handing over less prioritized ones to others. To-do lists help organize thoughts and tasks, reducing stress and feelings of overload. Time management enables you to plan your time effectively and without rushing. For me, the most important aspect of time management is a realistic assessment of how much time a task will take: it’s better to allocate more time than less – the extra time can be spent on a pause.
12. Gentleness with oneself — effectiveness doesn’t mean rigidity
Being effective doesn’t mean being harsh or overly demanding of yourself. Gentleness with oneself is the ability to accept your mistakes, not punish yourself for failures, and allow yourself to be human with all their emotions.
13. To communicate clearly and with respect
Our impact in the world is not only about what we do, but also about how we interact.
Do you know how to speak the truth gently? Can you listen without being defensive? Can you say “no” and still remain kind?
Healthy connections are not only pleasant, but also a resource and support, a mutual nourishment.
14. Creating supportive, not punitive routines
We all need structure. But not the kind that suffocates. Resilient habits are not based on shame and willpower, but on self-respect. They include rest, movement, good food. They leave room for life — not just for functioning. Structure is about love, not strain.
15. Presence and acceptance
We spend a lot of energy fighting what is, what we didn’t want, what isn’t here, and so on. If it’s beyond our control, it’s a waste of energy.
Effectiveness lies in presence. In the ability to accept: I am this way, the situation is this way – what can I do with what I have?
Acceptance is the point of strength from which true change arises.
In summary
Effectiveness is not about how much is done by lunch. It’s about the depth of honesty with oneself during the process. It’s not about constant movement, but about aligned, conscious, and gentle action. It’s not about saving time, but about honoring life. The most effective life is one in which we are authentic, alive, and present.
