What if diapers are more of an evil — something someone, as always, profits from? A child gets used to relieving themselves into a diaper, and then we end up having to break their psyche to teach them to use the potty. What if we could instead learn to recognize our baby’s signals about needing the toilet, and help the child feel and respond to their own needs — and start using a potty already at around one or two years old? Sounds more natural and hygienic, doesn’t it?
Sure, sometimes life leaves us with little choice — especially when parents are working and there’s so much to do — but even then, there are alternatives to plastic diapers that harm the environment: more expensive paper diapers or cheaper cloth ones. Nowadays, they make such amazing fabric diapers that don’t leak!
Our Elimination Communication Experience
While I was pregnant, I planned to use diapers and wet wipes like most people I know — now it’s hard for me to believe that.
What pushed me to start elimination communication was nothing other than a rash on my baby’s sweet little bum. The creams I tried felt psychologically disturbing and made me really stop and think. It all seemed very unnatural. The creams didn’t help, and often made it worse. Plus, it felt strange to walk around with a layer of grease on the bum.
So I began when the baby was 2 months old (before that, I mostly rested after giving birth).
At first, I only removed the diaper during the day. Observing my baby, I started noticing warning signs: furrowed or red brows, a thoughtful faraway look, characteristic sounds, or I would just intuitively feel it was time.
Then I realized it’s all just another business (I hate being turned into a profit source). If it weren’t, diapers would be made exclusively from eco-friendly materials — good for the baby, good for the planet ♥️ — and they wouldn’t write on the packaging that a diaper can hold half a day’s worth of excrement. By the way, I found some eco-friendly paper diapers, and also membrane-based cloth diapers.
Recognizing Signals
So, the whole thing worked with mixed success. The signals changed, family members and household items got peed on, and all that. But the little bum was happy.
For a long time, I didn’t dare remove the night diaper. But then I noticed the baby didn’t pee during naps at all. Nor in the baby sling. But the moment he woke up, or as soon as I took him out of the sling — he would.
So I removed the diaper at night too, and just placed a membrane pad under his precious bum.
At about 4 months, the signals totally disappeared — or maybe changed so much that I couldn’t recognize them anymore? And the baby started peeing at night. But even then, only 2–3 times a night. So is it worth subjecting a poor little bum to a diaper all night long?
I tried offering the potty at night before he’d fully wake up to eat, but he would start crying pitifully, so I dropped the idea for a while.
He would just pee on the pad, get a bit fussy, and I’d quietly change it. Later, I started trying to potty him again — very gently — and the baby learned not to react and could calmly pee into the bowl in his sleep.
Now at 7 months (he’s 7 today!), he’s only had a couple of pooping accidents during teething — but those nights were wild anyway. Under normal circumstances, this doesn’t happen at all.
Yes, I use an ordinary salad bowl that fits nicely between my legs, and his sweet bum touches the edge to mimic a future potty or toilet. While pottying, I make a “pss” or “ehh” sound, so later he can use that sound to signal me himself.
Interestingly, before bedtime, he refuses to go to the toilet for about an hour — that’s how I know sleep is coming.
When to Offer the Potty
So, I offer the potty:
- after sleep
- after feeding
- after being in the sling
- when I see a sudden behavior change (different sounds, stillness, or sudden hyperactivity)
- when intuition tells me (and this is a beautiful way to learn how to listen to it)
…and that’s it. It’s almost impossible to miss a cue. I usually miss only when I’m very distracted — about twice a day on average. But it’s worth it.
Outdoors, it depends: sometimes I use a diaper, sometimes not, depending on the mood, the situation, and where and for how long we’re going.
Yes, once the baby pooped on mama from head to toe, couldn’t hold it — but in the mom-world, there are very few problems that can’t be solved with wet wipes.
On our bed, we have a mattress protector. We don’t have carpets. We didn’t succeed with reusable training pants — the baby mostly goes bare-bottomed.
Of course, this is only my experience. Every child and mother is different. But for me, I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way. Very soon the baby will start sitting, and with that, using the potty.
Update: He fully started using the potty at 1 year and 8 months.
See also:
Diaper Free by Ingrid Bauer: Elimination Communication (get the book here)
