Yesterday, seven years ago, at seven o’clock in the morning, my 48-hours contractions had elegantly moved to the pushing stage striking the whole world with an incredible blue bubble, and my life started over.
Why so serious? Why is he so angry? – I’m often being asked on the street. He is not angry, – I say, – he just came into the world recently and is still trying to concentrate. However it is, those furrowed brows and cheeks are so sweet that I often explain to him that sooner or later he’ll be eatten by me. The baby understandably confirms: yum-yum.
In fact, I’m happy that we’ve almost never separated from the time of his birth – I think that that’s exactly what provided us with 99% of the understanding. Of course, there were breakdowns, but they were caused rather by my unmet need for a minimum of personal space than by misunderstanding itself. Unfortunately, I rarely manage to stay alone, and yet, that’s full of benefits for our relationship; it’s scary to think how it is when a baby goes to, let’s say, a kindergarten, and brings out some new words and habits, and I don’t understand anything ??. How do you handle it?)
I am not some sort of goddess of upbringing, but I am pleased with how we spent these two years, and here are the components of our lives that have uniquely become tools of understanding, and even its fundamentals:
(one of the best things that ever happened to me in my life, and still happens hh; an ingenious step of nature that satisfies almost all baby’s needs in one)
? sleeping together
(if the first thing you see in the morning is that little miracle it means that the day is already not too bad)
? natural infant hygiene
(insanely interesting way of further understanding; we used diapers only outside and starting from 1.8 the baby uses the potty by himself and empties it after himself, naturally and almost effortlessly; there are days or times when the baby doesn’t do it ‘right’, but I can clearly see that these are natural processes of experimentation, protest, or self-formation)
(I actively wore the sling till about his 1.6, now – rather rare because the baby prefers his own legs and wheels)
? common bath
(baby’s happy, mommy gets that rare opportunity to relax)
and trips to the toilet ?
(now the baby begings to trust, to understand that his mother will not vanish, and slowly lets me go, and most importantly – does not make a problem out of natural things)
? common food and no-food-violence policies
(the perfect BLW didn’t work out for us: it happens that I don’t want to wash the baby and everything around, or he wants to eat on me and from my plate, and it is a little difficult for me when there is borsch, for example; but I’m never forcing a baby to eat, even though it happens to despair, like most moms do when the children eat nothing at all; I truly believe and regularly getting more convienced that our bodies know about their natural needs and should be trusted)
? common activity and madness
(in my baby I finally found a partner for madness. who else would jump with me around the house and scream as if someone was killing us? my problem with people is usually the same: they are not alive enough for me. but isn’t it because they were being killed in their early childhood? my baby is alive and I have a serious intention to preserve it. I heard that there was no greater value than life, but now I just want to make a correction, that it is not about a body shell, but an internal spark, yet better wholeness and balance, yes, these are real values.)
? listening to needs / interests
(I often observe moms or nannies on the playgrounds grabbing a baby in the middle of some process and forcefully pushing into another process. sideways it looks innocent: baby is placed on a swing or slide. but the baby was watching a bug. or from our own experience: we have to go, we try to push the child into the car seat, the child protests, we push in, because it is necessary, the child protests, we push in, eventually we tell ourselves: stop, children do not protest just like that, and we find out that the baby wants to go to the toilet (have you ever tried to do it in a car seat? ?) Sometimes you just don’t have enough time for all that, true, but often it is a question of just a few more minutes to ascertain the needs of the baby, and that is the way for everyone to win)
? daily routine and a small number of rules
(this point is last not by coincidence, but because I’ve agreed with the necessity of the regime in the last place, due to my love to freedom. it’s easier for baby if during the day there are some usual guidelines: a certain time for sleep, meal, approximate sequence of actions, it gives the feeling of security; it took me a while to understand this and to temporarily take a few freedoms away from my baby)
A limited number of toys and their rotation, the absence of cartoons (and the need for them), no violence (except for critical situations), and yes, my child is two, and he does not know a single poem and cannot count to ten and has no idea that he is two years old now (to show off in front of the friends). I don’t know how to play educational games, to explain something the child doesn’t care about and things like that, and sometimes I envy when others show their talents of entertaining baby, which I can only dream about. but I see that the child, nevertheless, is developing perfectly, without needing any supernatural effort from the parent side. Only love and attention. Whenever the little demon whispers that I’m far from being good mother I suggest him to take a closer look at this child, who has not been getting any extra care and who has just been next to his parents – this is a lively, resourceful and observant boy who clearly lacks nothing. However, it’s not like that damn recognition is so important to me ?.
I congratulate myself on two years of motherhood, growth, trials, great discoveries and small victories. The baby started to talk (his vocabulary is now over 50 words, and yes, I write it down), so, all of the most interesting things are ahead.